I was on a run the other day and got a text that said just that, “How are you?”
I saw it on my watch and didn’t recognize the number, so I decided to not respond until after my run. When I’m running I don’t listen to music or a podcast or anything in my ears, I prefer to hear the sounds of my environment, get lost in my thoughts. sometimes I have full conversations with myself, and I talk to God too. It allows me to decompress all the stress I have, which shouldn’t be that much, but seems to ebb and flow and sometimes seems so overwhelming.
Getting that text completely shut down that mental destressing though, and caused my brain to get really introspective; should I say “not great”, because I’m really not that great right now; or should I say “fine” and leave it at that? Who is this person texting a “how are you?” to start a conversation? Is it an old friend who got a new phone number and didn’t let me know? I have a High School Reunion coming up maybe it’s an old classmate. To put it frankly that text ruined the mental aspect I needed to get from that long run. I still struggled through the run and finished strong, and it was worth it. I don’t think I got everything out of it that I could have though.
I’m an overthinker and constantly have to push myself to stop, do the next thing, and move on. Sometimes I type out a text and spend 30-45 minutes before I send it because I don’t know how the other person will react, will they respond, will they still think of me as a good person? all this goes through my head.
When I finished my run and went to get my recovery beer and pizza at Distant, I responded to the text “Struggling, but still trusting Jeremiah 29:11”, which if you don’t know says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I got a response, and exchanged a few more messages, they had a wrong number, to be honest I’m not completely convinced they weren’t a chat bot trying to get information about me so I shut down the conversation. No harm done other than my run being more introspective than I wanted it to be.
I’m on the struggle bus right now, but I’m still trusting Jesus. Some people might ridicule me for that, others might question why. I think my why is if I decide He’s not there for me, what do I have to live for, does my life really matter, does anyone care whether I’m here or not. I know that my church family does, they show it way more than my actual family does. That’s a discussion for another time though.
If you read this and know me in the real world, and not just on the internet, let me know what you thought there.
Discover more from JerRemixMiah
Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.
JerRemixMiah 