How are you?

I was on a run the other day and got a text that said just that, “How are you?”
I saw it on my watch and didn’t recognize the number, so I decided to not respond until after my run. When I’m running I don’t listen to music or a podcast or anything in my ears, I prefer to hear the sounds of my environment, get lost in my thoughts. sometimes I have full conversations with myself, and I talk to God too. It allows me to decompress all the stress I have, which shouldn’t be that much, but seems to ebb and flow and sometimes seems so overwhelming.

Getting that text completely shut down that mental destressing though, and caused my brain to get really introspective; should I say “not great”, because I’m really not that great right now; or should I say “fine” and leave it at that? Who is this person texting a “how are you?” to start a conversation? Is it an old friend who got a new phone number and didn’t let me know? I have a High School Reunion coming up maybe it’s an old classmate. To put it frankly that text ruined the mental aspect I needed to get from that long run. I still struggled through the run and finished strong, and it was worth it. I don’t think I got everything out of it that I could have though.

I’m an overthinker and constantly have to push myself to stop, do the next thing, and move on. Sometimes I type out a text and spend 30-45 minutes before I send it because I don’t know how the other person will react, will they respond, will they still think of me as a good person? all this goes through my head.
When I finished my run and went to get my recovery beer and pizza at Distant, I responded to the text “Struggling, but still trusting Jeremiah 29:11”, which if you don’t know says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I got a response, and exchanged a few more messages, they had a wrong number, to be honest I’m not completely convinced they weren’t a chat bot trying to get information about me so I shut down the conversation. No harm done other than my run being more introspective than I wanted it to be.

I’m on the struggle bus right now, but I’m still trusting Jesus. Some people might ridicule me for that, others might question why. I think my why is if I decide He’s not there for me, what do I have to live for, does my life really matter, does anyone care whether I’m here or not. I know that my church family does, they show it way more than my actual family does. That’s a discussion for another time though.

If you read this and know me in the real world, and not just on the internet, let me know what you thought there.

On Singleness and living alone

I’m in a spot where being single kind of sucks, I see my friends, most are married or in relationships with someone, and feel like its missing in my life. They have people to listen and hear what’s on their hearts and minds. I don’t have that at all, I’ve got the skills in the kitchen, some skills in the garage and workshop. I started to try and put myself out there and pursue relationships with a few women, but had no interest from them in going any deeper than friendship. Honestly that is fine, but when I tell some of my guy friends. One of them said you have to show interest in the girl and then she will reciprocate interest back, but he didn’t make me feel like he even heard what I had said. he just wanted to tell me what I needed to do without hearing what I’d already tried. he didn’t make me feel heard. But also he got married 16 years ago and doesn’t know the single persons culture anymore either, especially those that are in their late 30’s.

I could just slink back into my own bubble and work on my own stuff and stop putting myself out there for the hurt that seems to come with it. I’ll stop trying to hang out with people, who have lives that are to busy to include me. I’ll stop asking to hang out, or do fun things the after the few times someone says they are busy, maybe fall off communicating all together. That seems to be a bigger part of life right now. I know God gave me the desire to pursue marriage and have kids, sometimes I feel I’m behind on that train.

I’m probably a little bitter and maybe a little hurt, maybe I need to go on a long run with a buddy, or alone, and talk stuff out loud . Or sit by a firepit and process the deep thoughts into the night, rather than just push them back down, but my firepit seems to be too far away from most of my friends so I’ll do that solo as well.

I miss making food for people regularly, every time I take something to a potluck, or dinner party I get pretty big acknowledgments. and usually go home with empty dishes. I signed up to take salsa to a taco party the other night and went to the store with the intention of getting a couple jars, but also walked through the produce section and saw the prices of tomatillo’s and peppers and thought I’ll just make a salsa verde and save a little money by buying fresh ingredients, it turned out great, probably better than what comes from a jar. I’ll keep cooking good food, but also keep running so I can eat as much good food as I like, I’ll keep trusting Jesus and stop worrying about the rest.

Those that know me in real life, honestly you’re probably the only ones reading this, but let me know you did, and what you think about it.

F3 Eastern Sierra Workout for 4/30/24

A little over two months ago I started going to F3 Eastern Sierra, if you don’t know what F3 is check out f3nation.com, its a peer led Men’s workout program that also builds community. We meet Tuesdays at 5:30 am at the Bishop City Park in the parking lot between fields one and two, rain or shine. I’m in rotation to lead this week so I’m putting my plan here in case someone ever wants a work out to do at the Bishop City Park.

4/30/24

3ish mile run with some other exercises.


5 Core Principles of F3
1. Always Outdoors
2. Always Free
3. Open to All Men
4. Peer led in rotation
5. Ends in Circle Of Trust

Start with a Mosey to the back of the park
stop near the trees behind the restrooms
20 flying nuns IC
20 Flap jacks

Run the path to Hanby turn north towards Yaney
Turn down Yaney to Spruce street
Group stop
10 low slow squats IC
50 Overhead claps IC

Mosey up Spruce towards Vons to the Dirt north of the Caltrans Yard
Control freak planks till Softcore calls us out

Mosey down Wye Rd to the canal
Stop for group up at canal
The group should shift their pace from a conversational pace, where they could talk to the guy they were running with to a non-conversational pace.

Run to the foot Bridge in line with Willow before the second set of gates that are sometimes closed sometimes open
5 Carolina Drydocks IC

Cross the canal on the foot bridge
Run to the path to Hanby turn North to the path then run to the playground at the back of thepark 
15 big boy sit up’s 

Mosey back to the Cars

COT, then Coffeetime

Solid Sundays

I’m on my way to being a runner.
It started last spring when my friend Jamie was training to run a half marathon for his sisters birthday, and while I was doing some spring skiing I thought I should see if I could run a 5k with him on one of his training runs. I asked him what distance he was doing the next week on Sunday and he was going for four or five miles but I could join in for the beginning 5k out and back, but I knew I would be running slower. I did the 5k pretty much off the couch, had to walk some of it but I still finished it I also got some inspiration from a book, I Hate Running And You Can Too by Semi-Rad, a great internet artist who I started following on Instagram years ago. I was definitely feeling the hate towards running two days after that first 5k. I walk around three miles a day at work but adding speed into the mix and putting effort in places I hadn’t in far too long wore me out, but also showed me what I could improve on.

Growing up I had asthma as a kid and running the mile in grade school would put me into an asthma attack and I wasn’t able to keep up with most of my classmates, and eventually realized I could take Band instead of gym in High School and I did that so I could avoid running at all. I was able to swim without Asthma effecting me as hard so I did swim team for three years and feel like I only made the team because we needed to fill out the relay teams for the guys, I grew up in a small town and we had a small school. After High School I pretty much dropped the exercise, besides walking, hiking, climbing and some skiing here and there. I started cycling when I was 28 and was surprised that my asthma had gone pretty much away, I could ride 15 to 20 miles without much effort and was getting faster. I’m not saying I was asthma free, but I knew how much I could push myself without causing an asthma attack.

After the 5k last spring I gradually started a training plan to do a Half-Marathon and even with some hardships, bruising ribs in June and having my appendix removed at the end of July two weeks before my run day, I still started and finished the half marathon in just over 3 hours and looked forward to running more. I ran 6k when I was in Sweden and that was fun. But without a goal or training plan to follow my time on the feet diminished. The fire to run was still there, though not as bright, more like a hot coal that might not shine but will still burn if you pick it up.

Now I’m trying to get healthier in all aspects and still I ski as much as I can afford to, usually that’s only on weekends. I started working out with some guys Tuesday mornings before the sun comes up. In February I went to watch a friend run a 50k trail race and that inspired me to run more myself. So I’ve been running every couple days and doing a longer run on Sundays after skiing for at least 2 hours. Last week I did a 10k, this week I did 7 miles, and I’ll probably just keep increasing till I’m doing 10 regularly. Doing a sport exercise every Sunday before the run has been good, once the skiing goes down I’m not sure what I’ll be doing for the second sport, maybe I’ll sprinkle in some bouldering as it doesn’t really require a second person, or maybe I’ll just be at the point I can add in some mileage to the long runs and find a trail race to enter.

Last year I went to Chicago, for my Cousin Britany’s wedding, on my way to Norway and Sweden and I thinking back on it I could choose another state that I haven’t been to and do a trail run there. Currently I’m kind of leaning towards one near Cleveland Ohio in October, The Chippewa Creek Challenge Half Marathon, I know I have an old friend that I haven’t seen in years that lives there, and it would be cool to see him too. But also training at 4000ft – 9000ft elevation for the next six months and then racing at 800ft would help as well. I know there are closer races but I also scratched the itch of travelling to new places last year and that made me want to do it more, so I’m going to try to get to at least one new state every year.

What are you doing today to make your tomorrow better.

I’m going to stick to my Solid Sunday runs in Mammoth. If you ever want to join let me know, we had a crew running last summer and it was so awesome.
As always, if you know me in real life and not just here on the internet let me know you read my words, and what you thought about them. It really means a lot when people do that.